13 Months Later

Love & Basketball

Technically, I've been living in Toronto for about nine months - but on document, I have been in the city for 13 months. May 17th, 2022 was the day that gave me a big perspective on what it means to live in a different city, away from family. Most people would move for their job; I wanted to give myself some life lessons only provided through such an experience.

From Friends To Roommates

To anyone who decides to live with their friend: make sure you know their intentions. One month living together, my roommate wanted to re-discuss the rent, which involved him admitting that he knew that we were not going to be fine living together... Thanks for the head's up.

Much as I wanted to believe that things were going to fine, our friendship ended up feeling transactional. I just felt used, and it didn't bother him. Once in a while, he would suggest to hang out, but that never came into fruition. Even when he wanted to talk, he would push that aside due his own schedule. Soon enough, there was less talking, more messaging, and even the occasional money request; hence, transactional.

Needless to say, living with him kept getting more and more uncomfortable. Every time I asked him to do something, it felt like I was arguing with a child. It's as though he's living his college phase, despite both of us being the same age. I didn't even see him when I moved out - perhaps the best way to say 'goodbye;' not say it at all... We served each other's purpose, and it gave me a better outlook on the dynamics of a relationship. It's always important to proceed with caution.

Working Around The Clock

While there are more career opportunities in Toronto, there is one thing I forgot: the population of Toronto. When my contract ended in December, I was unemployed for three months. One of my friends introduced me to a Director, who told me that they would only see three candidates out of a thousand submissions... Even if you think you have the qualifications, there are at least a hundred people who have similar backgrounds as yours.

Although having a remote job was convenient, I don't think I am well suited for that type of work. There would be days were I would finish work at the beginning of the shift, and I wouldn't know what to do by the end of the day. Nonetheless, I got to see family often, and even work from multiple locations. I wouldn't say that I would be seeking another remote job, but it's always a good option to view for when I want to settle down to a regular life (whatever that may look like).

One Last Point Of View

Web Connections

It was clear that my roommate wasn't going to share his friends - he even made that a topic of argument one time. My coworkers were all online, and they were in different phases of their lives. So what does one do to make friends? Use Dating Apps. It may seem a bit odd, but I found meeting up with new people to be a fun way to pass the time.

Perhaps it's unusual for one to make friends solely through the internet, but I have met and made a good bunch of people who I consider my friends. While there were dates throughout the year, I don't think I have found someone I am interested in at this moment... But let's wait and see what happens in 2023. And with a new job along the way, maybe I can make some friends the way we made friends in school: through proximity.

Results

Once again, I am not exactly where I want to be, but I feel that these past 13 months have given me valuable lessons. Whether it was confronting conflict or making memories, I have enjoyed the time I've been in Toronto. With a new job and summer officially here, I have a feeling that this year will be much more different than the first. Although I barely have savings, I still hopeful that opportunities will come my way - I have a plan (not really, but, being hopeful!)

Sunset, Sunrise